Cherry Goes Global

Friday, February 09, 2007

Like, hi!

I know! I know! It's been an absolute age since I posted. No rest for the wicked and all that.

Firstly, allow me to say RIP Annan Nicole Smith *bows head* and share a bit about how Anna Nicole has touched my life:
I'll always remember fondly the time you visited this great land of Australia and popped down to Bondi beach all decked out in your wetsuit and swimming cap for a surfing lesson. Unfortunately however, you weren't even able to stand on dry land, falling over a couple of times, so you had to give the ocean a very wide berth. That was during the same visit for the MTV awards and when asked if you liked Australian music your reply was quite simple 'To be honest, I'm not Australian, but I am here to learn'. Thanks for keeping it so real Anna Nicole. Peace out.

So now that the tragic part of the post is over let's get back onto more important things, namely, ME!! Actually, the tragic part of the post is not over. If you spy the pic of moi below you will see a small line in between my eyebrows. Looks as if I've been attacked by a minature ninja weilding a minature machete, doesn't it? Well, that's not what happened. What, in fact, happened was that this poor little Cherry fainted! *crowd gasps* Yes, I fell off the bed and smashed my head on the corner of a glass table. I'll allow you to speculate as to whether or not this occured before, during or after a healthy serve of c.o.c.k.

As you all know I like to pass on little lessons learnt by Yours Truly so that my faithful readers do not have to endure such trying circumstances as I have had to. As such, let it be know that one should never give their number to a semi hot lebanese guy in the next car at a set of traffic lights. By all means hand it out to VERY hot guys of any nationality, but never, repeat never, give it out to a semi hot guy. 'Why, Cherry-Kimber, why?' I hear you all cry. Because this is what will happen:

He will call, number withheld, and have a chat, say you sound like a nice gal. Nothing wrong with that. He will then sms you at 5am. Yes, 5am. The sms will say 'Hay. Wat u up2' which will make you sick because of all the spelling mistakes and unwillingness to spell the entire freaking word. You will reply with 'Who's this?' because you don't have his number. He will reply with 'It's **** we met drivin 2day'. You will reply 'Sleeping' and he will then develop an attitude problem and say that now that you know who it is you say 'ur sleepin' and then will follow it up by asking if you want to meet up tomorrow. You will not respond and when he repeatedly calls you and sms's you, you will never respond because now he not only has a chip on his shoulder because, heaven forbid, you were actually sleeping at 5am, he is coming across as all desperate and stupid because he won't get the hint.

Anyway, pop that one into your memory bank and only give your number to VERY hot guys because if they are VERY hot they can be forgiven for being slighty stupid and they wouldn't be all desperate. Although, having said that, alot of guys are, like, *hair flick* totally desperate to get a piece of The Cherry! *tilts head to side*

I leave you with the above image. There's a WHOLE lotta truth right there!

Bye bye lovers!

Peace, love and girth!

Cherry-Kimber! xxx

Posted by Cherry! :: 3:32 am :: 17 fans want a piece of The Cherry!

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