Cherry Goes Global


Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Press Release


In a message released by her publicist today, The Cherry has stated that she would like to thank each and every one of you for your warm birthday wishes. Your ongoing support means so much to her. As she is currently trying to claw her way back to sobriety after partying with her beloved Gal Pals and Man Pals all weekend she regrets to inform that she cannot respond personally to each message and good wish that was bestowed upon her by her fabulous fans. She also warns that the above picture has been altered by the tabloids in an attempt to turn her angelic public image into that of a trashy ho. She also wishes to inform the fans that although several vagrants did offer their 'services' to her as she stumbled out of the dumpster on Sunday afternoon, she declined all offers and had a very cockless birthday. Despite having little recollection of the birthday celebrations she declared her 30th a 'truly memorable' occasion.

Posted by Cherry! :: 5:39 am :: 47 fans want a piece of The Cherry!

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Friday, September 22, 2006

Give it up for The Cherry!

Nigga's! Wigga's! Pimps & Ho's! Now hear ye! Now hear ye!

One score and ten years ago in the spirit of '76 was born the creature that is now recognised as The Pinnacle of Divinity and goes by the name of
CHERRY!
*crowd cheers*
*The Cherry bows*
Lock up your husbands and sons, ladies! And break out the Lazy Susans! This is said to be the age that a woman reaches her sexual peak! Perhaps a leash for The Cherry would be a fitting birthday present and I'm not talking as some kind of kinky bondage thing (although I'm open for discussion).
Really, though as a gal, dare I say 'woman of the world', I want for nothing on this fabulous occassion that is the celebration of my birth. Well nothing except for the following:
*THE BULLDOGS TO WIN THEIR GAME THUS ENTERING THE GRAND FINALE! UP THE MIGHTY DOGGIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
*VALENTINO ROSSI TO WIN ON SUNDAY IN JAPAN THUS EDGING CLOSER TOWARDS THE 2006 WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!!!!!!! FORZA IL DOTTORE!!!!!!!!!*
That's all I can really be bothered with biatches! The game is on tonight, so I'll be watching that and then it's party time with The Gal Pals and a few others on Saturday afternoon / night! YEEHAA!! Saturday night should be wild and I can only hope that this time Drew gets up to his old tricks before I fall asleep. Namely, twirling repeatedly on the dance floor, dramatically leaning against the glass door before the glass door swings open and he falls flat on his face due to inability to catch himself (too intoxicated, reaction times had slowed).
That's all for now! Love youse all!
But for the love of god peeps, on this Special Day pay tribute to Yours Truly and GYCO!!!!
Peace, love and large cocks, sweeties!
Kisses!
Cherry!
BTW: A Happy Birthday to my blog Gal Pal ANDREA! A fabulous day for it, huh?!?!?!
BTW # 2: I did have a pic to post BUT it won't effing let me!!! I didn't see 'anal probe from blogger' on my birthday list did you???????

Posted by Cherry! :: 5:00 am :: 26 fans want a piece of The Cherry!

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Wednesday, September 20, 2006

The Key to True Happiness

I was reading an article in my the weekend newspaper and they had an article on 'What Really Makes Us Happy'. It went on about how people have more money etc these days but aren't necessarily happier. Well have found the key to happiness, ladies and gentlemen. I think if every household was to have one of these every member of that household would find true happiness. I present to you.............*insert drum roll here*...............

The Lazy Susan!


'I'd never known such happiness until the lazy susan entered my life!' quote Hogan Logan runway super mwardel

Here we see the ever glamorous Hogan Logan runway super mwardel showcasing the lazy susan. The night I arrived in Dubai we decided since we hadn't seen each other for over a year (it can happen to the best of any super mwardels with gruelling work schedules) that it was most certainly an occassion to break out the lazy susan.


'Hogan Logan is that my bacardi and coke?' 'Sure is, Cherry-Kimber, here you go!' *SPIN*

At one stage I attempted to stretch across the lounge to reach the smoked salmon. Hogan Logan was quick to show me the error of my ways simply stating 'Cher, don't stretch. SPIN!'. Wise words that would make a fabulous advertising campaign if I do decide to act / cash in on this brainchild and key to happiness and start making them myself. Can't you just see The Cherry woodworking away (I have worked with wood before but this will be woodwork of a different kind), handcrafting lazy susans complete with safety glasses and the rest of the fabulous woodwork get up? Hogan Logan and I were talking on the phone the other night and we were thinking 'Why not personalise them with some cool stencilling or wonderful decoupage?' That would just increase happiness levels tenfold!! I need some feedback on this peeps, before I get production underway.

Deep throating with lazy susan backdrop

Again we see the lazy susan. Actually, this was just a ploy to put a picture of Hogan Logan attempting to deep throat a pringles container. hahaha! Loves it!

Apart from the plans to get the lazy susan production into full swing and enrich people's lives with true happiness there ain't much going down here. I have a couple of days work tomorrow and the next day which really should be really exciting (yeah right). I am feeling a bit ripped off that I'll miss Cheaters but I plan on recording it so as not to miss out! Monday's episode was the best one I've seen yet where the 'Cheatee' *Dan Newberry, age: 49* went a bit psycho at 'The Confrontation' and after exclaiming 'I can't handle this!' planted his foot on the gas peddle and took off with the host and all the crew chasing him on foot, not knowing WTF was going on!! He then rammed his truck into the car his wife and her lover were in and kept ramming until the car went into the water and the two making out in the back seat scurried to safety!! Fabulous viewing! And the 'case' prior to that one was quite the twisted outcome with the Cheatee finding out that the gal her man of 2yrs was 'cheating' with was a gal he'd actually been with for 5yrs! I mean, who would have seen either of those outcomes happening?!?!? Great stuff! Where do they find these people?!?!

And let us not forget that it is THE CHERRY'S 30TH BIRTHDAY on Friday peeps! Hoorah!


Posted by Cherry! :: 9:31 am :: 32 fans want a piece of The Cherry!

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Monday, September 18, 2006

Cock or Two?

Moi complete with a cocked up crest (ie cockatoo crest)

Look at this mesmorising picture of moi and don't focus on the green solarised hue in the facial area. That's just a bit of my artsy prep to disguise early morning imperfections (as if there were really any imperfections! I just went a little crazy with the photo program bitches! I wake every morning like I just walked off a Bold and the Beautiful set....obviously apart from the hair). Allow yourself to focus on the fabulousness of the hair. I woke up with my hair standing on end, my mother and sister in law laughing at me over the hair, but my halo in tact! The hair looks like a guy may have taken a shot in the wrong direction, if you know what mean.... If you woke up beside this vision, wouldn't you just chew your own arm to get away?!?!?!? (Shut up jin!)

Cock or two?

Well as tough as it may sound I continue to lead a life of well earned leisure. I went to the interview with the agency on Friday and I do believe the term 'Amazing candidate' was being thrown around. Anyway, she’' been out the night before, slipped in the 'f' word accidentally which made us laugh our heads off and when she asked what my future goals were I said 'Evil World Domination' and we laughed some more. So we shall see if that leads to anything but secretly I hop it doesn't because I may be getting a job with my friend just around the corner from my parents’ place. Obviously, this would be the best situation for saving the cashola to get up and running again. The only problem with it is that if I ever get stuck for a lift to work and back I’d have to drive the Porn Star Porsche and I think it's hard to change gears in that thing. Nevertheless it's a set of wheels even if the fuel consumption is completely obscene.

Here is one of the kangaroos. I think I'm going to name one 'Valentino' and the other 'Rossi'. Thoughts?

The weekend has come and gone and the weather was glorious! On Saturday my sister in law came over, as did my sister and her girlfriend and whilst my bro and dad went for a motorbike ride we ate lunch and got stuck into the trusty old vino. Later Christina (sister in law), mum and I all danced a merry jig which was highly amusing! Trust me when I say we were pulling out some awesome manoeuvres! Call of the day was when Mum asked Christina if she knew what muffdiving was. According to Christina it came way out of left field and had us laughing for quite a while. Sunday my parents and I watched the MotoGP and may I say it was an extremely unusual and interesting race due to on and off rain. Our Boy Valentino Rossi made the podium at third place with a nailbiting finish (ie: all of us jumping up and down in the lounge room) and Nicky Hayden coming fifth and Pedrosa finishing waaaaaaay back. *insert Evil World Domination laugh here* This means Our Boy is still a chance of winning the world championship AGAIN!! Forza Il Dottore!!

This is what I saw this morning. Clouds often float over the river in the morning here. They sit above the water and kind of move on down. Quite magical indeed!

In other news we have had many a visitor of the wildlife variety too, much to my delight! This morning mum was feeding a king parrot out of a container she was holding whilst the bird was sitting on the balcony rail. Tops! And not so long ago I was sitting here minding my own business when our regular kangaroo visitors hopped on by! How cool is that! It hopped away a bit, but I went outside and got some pics but they aren’t really close range, but you can still get the drift I'm sure. They were just kickin' it kanga style. I hope the're back tomorrow. Oh and what about the cockatoo?!?! Not just a ploy to slip the word cock in. He has been hanging around, calling out to his friends and getting his crest out there for all to see.

Hello sailor! Cousin Jazzy came to visit us with Christina and Michael. Christina and I are currently obsessed wth dog's clothing, but secretly I think The Christ of Ina is more into it than The Cherry.....okay probably not but I didn't want to come across as having problems, you know?!?!?!

The male king parrot. Why are the men always prettier????

What else do I have for you????? I'm trying to think. And since thinking has never been my forte I guess I'll just have to leave it here. Enjoy the pics!

The female

Still beautiful but I mean the red face on the male is pretty fucking cool!! This one actually seems to be a little braver. Which I must say are typical traits of gals in general right? hahaha! This is the one that my mum got to eat from the container! AWESOME!!! Soon I hope to have it eating out of my hand. A bit the same way Evil World Domination, men and I will soon work!

Love youse all and GYCO!
C xxx


PS I selflessly volunteered to whore out my fellow Australian’s blog on this post. So I’m doing just that! Get on over to Kiki's blog and see what he has to say for himself! Do it! You know you want to!


Posted by Cherry! :: 10:09 am :: 27 fans want a piece of The Cherry!

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Thursday, September 14, 2006

The New *Angelic* Look


So what's everyone thinking about the new improved profile picture?!?!?!? You've all seen the pic before but I snazzied it up somewhat.

Not much happening here except that I have just been lazing around in leisure suits kickin' it with the dawgs. I wasn't going to start looking for work until next wek to give me some R&R time but I thought since I wasn't doing anything I might as well send out the trusty resume to some angencies. Lo and behold a couple got back to me immediately (I'm in demand you know) and now I have a freaking 'interview' with one tomorrow in the city. There goes a the R&R. For tomorrow I shall be up at the crack of freaking dawn and *shudder* commuting in my skin tight suit. Why skin tight I hear you ask. Because I have taken the term 'bulking up' to entirely new levels. All I can say is thank the lord that I always buy these types of ensembles in sizes a couple of sizes too big to allow for things such as becoming three shadows of my former self. I did try to coherce the lass into seeing me next week but I sensed a tone of urgency in her voice. I just hope that means I will have work next week thus allowing me to rise above the poverty line. Goodbye to fabulous television viewing such as 'Cheaters' (loves that show!!!) and real life stories about weddings and shit! Hello rat race and having to deal with other people in a 'professional' environment!

Let's hope this is the only chick I have to waste my time going to see!

Peace out my pretties!
Cherry!
xxx

Posted by Cherry! :: 11:17 am :: 37 fans want a piece of The Cherry!

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Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Lights! Camera! Action!

Yesterday afternoon when I arrived back at the ranch, Dad immediately decided to get the dogs frocked up and ponying down the runway to do a welcome back fashion show for me. It was exhilerating to be honoured in such a way. So much so that I could not take photos. Today I frocked them all up again (inspired by Jin's post with Brioche in it) and decided to let them become mwardels once again. Here's the magic that the camera captured.....

A group shot at the end of the show

Due to the demands of the competitive industry, and their desire to stay in shape, the mwardels no longer dine on raisin toast on a daily basis, instead opting just to eat this special treat every now and ten.

Here we see Lily with a somewhat distant look in her eye. Exactly the look we were trying to achieve during this particular shoot. A sort of bored / I have better things to do with my time look that has come to be so popular in mwardelling over the years. The purple leopard skin is a popular choice amoung young ladies today in the upper class society.

The one thing I really like in this look that Sonny Bill is sporting is that he really has been able to retain his masculinity despite a rather flamboyant tiger skin garment and matching black collar with orange diamontes. I think it screams 'I'm tough, don't fuss with me' whilst simultaneously sending out the messag that he's completely in touch with his feminine side.

Poppy is dressed in a fabulous pink ensemble which is complimented by her fuscia diamonte collar. The look is classically girly, but hints that inside there's a wild side wanting to break free. Ever the professional mwardel, you'd never know from these inspirational shots that she has an ear infection and threw up just minutes before the show due to 'nerves'.

*All mwardels are represented by The Cherry Presents Mwardelling Agency*



Posted by Cherry! :: 5:16 am :: 21 fans want a piece of The Cherry!

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Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Malaria anyone???

Cock or not?

Hey peeps!

Well finally arrived back Down Under and let me tell you it is as freezing as a mofo (and that's freezing!!!) and it has been pissing down like a mofo too, ever since I touched down. Apparently, it was 31 a couple of weeks ago, but the weather gods just know how to toy with a Cherry's emotions. I know it's selfish because we need the rain, but fuck it! I really don't think it's too much to ask to at least turn up the old heat a little.

I'll be posting at length tomorrow with pictures too, but for now I'm going to curl up on the lounge and watch MotoGP races from the beginning of the season that I didn't see and hope to kick this malaria once and for freakin' all. Okay, well it's not malaria, but Hogan Logan and I were sure there for a while that that's what we had come down with. The flight didn't help my throat and now with this cold weather it's actually turned into a cold. Generally I don't feel too bad and I haven't let it stop me from seeing the fans and having the 'odd drink' (read: copious amounts of alcohol) here and there as I delight the fans with my presence.

On the bright side, my voice is now an extremely sexual husky tone. I've even been trying to chat up myself.

Last but by no means least, I'd like to wish Jin a fabulous birthday! I wonder how she feels now that she's clocked up half a century.......*insert Evil World Domination laugh here*

Over and out peeps!
Cher xxx

BTW My football team kicked some ass on the weekend and Valentino Rossi won in Malaysia too! Hoorah!!

Posted by Cherry! :: 8:17 am :: 17 fans want a piece of The Cherry!

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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

A quick hello from the dessert, sweeties!

Yo! 'Sup dawgs?!?!?!

I just thought I'd say a quick hello to all y'all from Dubai, Land of Camels and hot arabian men in dish dashes. I had forgotten how highly alluring I find a man in a dish dash. Yummy! The only downfall is that you have to use your imagination in the crotch region. It's not like a nice tight fitting pair of jeans where you can see what's on offer in the lunchbox before you make it to the love nest. Know what I'm saying? The dish dash is a little riskier...... It's a risk I'd be willing to take.

So let me get you up tp speed. Major panic attack just before I left my house in The 'Ganza. Not even three glasses of vino and chain smoking calmed me. It's was kinda crazy. My suitcase was as heavy as a mofo. 39kgs to be exact. At the airport when I put it on he just looked at the bag, and then at me and simply said 'No way'. hahahahahaha! So the next part is embaressing but I shall tell you all. The Cherry had to open her suitcase and take shit out of it right there in the freakin' airport in front of everyone!! hahahahahaha! OMFG! I mean I think that was karma coming back around to bite on the ass because I have been known to chuckle a little (read alot) when I see this happening to other people. Either that or it was one last ass rape from Italia as a farewell present.

The flight was okay. It would have been better if it wasn't for the Malaysian guy sitting next to me. You know the kind that think they're black and so act like some sort of brother. Firstly the flight was a Saturday afternoon arriving in Dubai at midnight so I was kinda curious as to why the hell he chose to wear a suit! ha! Loser! And to make matters worse: CHEAP POLYESTER! Nigga please! And his shirt was unbuttoned a bit to show off a bit of chest hair. That shit was making me gag. He also hogged the arm rest the entire way! Bastardo!

I must say it's been fabulous to see all of my Dubai peeps. Really fabulous and like I never left! It's making me want to extend the stay. But since I have fans awaiting my arrival in Sydney I guess I can't. Tonight we're all ponying (that's MWARDEL TALK, btw) down the runway of life and into the launch of H&M. Will Madonna be making an appearance?!?!? According to my reliable sources 'the guest list cannot be confirmed'. Screw you Madonna, we don't need you to have a good time! Should be a fun night though. And then tomorrow I'll be going on safari. Yeehaa! I hope I get to ride a camel. I will be taking pics for the blog, so fear not my little pretties, fear not!! I have also watched the entire Series 3 of nip / tuck. Only one way to describe it: 'Damn! That shit is whack!' Loves it ALOT!

Thanks for keepin' it real guys! You've been a wonderful audience! *blows kiss* (or maybe just blows. I'd have to see what was on offer *insert Evil World Domination laugh here*)

Love Cherry-Kimber Banchele

Posted by Cherry! :: 10:47 am :: 30 fans want a piece of The Cherry!

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Friday, September 01, 2006

The Cherry Presents..........

THE CHURCH OF THE IMMACULATE CONCEPTION!
Well hung, or what?!?!
Hey good lookin'. What ya got cookin'? How about cookin' somethin' up with me! This here apron is my pride and joy. This is how I greeted the dinner guests, Matteo and Manuel last night. Talk about Getting Your Cock Out!
Murder on the dance floor!
So anyway, the boys came over for dinner last night and a fabulous time was had by all! These are just a few of the pics taken.

'The Man' aka Manuel GYCO's. He has aspirations of having a dick the size of a black man's.

Well having a bit of a dig at bitches is becoming a weekly thing, it would seem. Today's gripe is about how they can just get the screaming shits with you one minute, not enlighten you as to why they're pissed at you, let it be known to the whole crew present that they're pissed at you and then five minutes later start talking to you like nothing ever happened! hahahahahaha! Fuck me! Some bitches need to come with a warning that mind reading is essential if you want to hang with them. This is yet another reason why I hate gals. Well I have a select few that I like and that's mainly because they're on the same wave length as moi. I mean if you're annoyed by something just fucking say it and get it over with instead of making a huge production out of it, you know? I could go on with a few other things that are getting on my tits whilst simultaneously boring me to tears, but I don't want to bore all y'all with that crap and besides I've already had a bitch to a couple of you via chat today (thanks Jin and Mike!! hahahaha! Katy when you get on you're not safe either!! *insert Evil World Domination laugh here*).

The delightful Matteo!

So below are the photos taken at the Church of the Immaculate Conception. Quite a fascinating place and if you ever make your way to Roma, I urge you go there and check. it. out. So apparently, all of these monks wanted to be bureid like right there in the church because it was the place of conception blah blah blah. Soon it became so packed that they had a more skeletons than they knew what to do with. They did what anyone would do and decided to decorate the freaking interior with the freaking bones!!!! It's eerily revolting, yet ooooh so intriguing!

Proudly presented by Cherry & Joce!

Here's the lovely Joce!! One could be mistaken for thinking 'tis moi that is preggers, not her! So this is out the front of the church.

Again front of the church.


Front of the church.


Boner anyone?

Here are the bones! I mean check that shit out! It's just like 'Hey Franco, can you grab that C5 verterbrae and throw it over here? I'm thinking of doing some arrow kinda things on the roof. What do you think?' All that decoration there is made of freaking peeps bones!!


A unique form of interior decoration

Here are somefull skeletons still with their robes on. Some of them looked kind of mummified. Like I said really very cool, yet feral all at once! These are actually ILLEGAL PHOTOS!!!! Are your eyes burning just looking at them and is the computer screen melting? Because there was a big sign saying no photos, but we threw caution to the wind. She did see us snapping away and yelled out over a loud speaker thing, but what's she going to do? Confiscate the camera?!?!?! I don't think so!! Plus it said don't touch. But this sneaky little Cherry did touch a bone! And not the type of bone I'm accustomed to!!! It felt like wood. And not the type of wood I'm accustomed to!!! I know it was naughty of me to go against the rules, but being a non conformist I did what I felt like at the time. So spank me!


'I just love what you've done with the dining room, daaaaahling!'

More bone decorations. It's only a small place and there are about four different rooms. Below are some more of the full skeletons, standing in arches made of like femurs and skulls and stuff. I think they're femurs anyway. It's been a while since I finished the massage course and really must freshen up on the old knowledge.


Spooooooooky!

So that's that! I hope you found it as cool as Lee, Joce and I did! This is my last post from Italia!!! Can you believe that shit?!?!?! I leave the house tomorrow at midday. As I said to Kiki yesterday, very little time to teach many more Italians the word 'cunt'. I fly from Milano into Dubai. AAAAAAAHHHH!!! Excellent! I cannot wait to see the other mwardel. Not just any mwardel! But a runway supermwardel! (I wish I could put audio on here so you could actually here the way we say it. It's hilarious!!!) Tonight I'm off to Soe and Lucio's again! Hilarity should ensue! I'll try and get another ass shot. No doubt it will be out and proud! hahaha!

The next time I post I shall be in the dessert, sweeties! I advised Hogan Logan that I would not be making any public appearances whilst there due to embaressing weight gain. He said there was one public appearance to made at the H&M launch. I said to him that I'd just have to don a burqua so nobody could see the fat etc. I mean if it's anywhere I can get away with a stunt like that it's in Dubai! Problem solved! Fabulous!

That's it for now! If anyone needs me I'll be in the middle east kickin' it with camels in my burqua.

Have a fabulous weekend everyone! GYCO!!

Love youse all!

******BTW can everyone nick over to Scott's blog for his Freaky Friday question!?!?!?! Link on the side there! Kisses!!******


Posted by Cherry! :: 11:45 am :: 25 fans want a piece of The Cherry!

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