Cherry Goes Global


Saturday, June 24, 2006

Good Times & Happy Days Recipe

Dish:
Good Times & Happy Days
Serves 1
Best served in a 'People Free Zone', preferably the comfort of your own home.

Ingredients:


1. Music pumping out some FUNKED UP, PHAT beats
2. TV on sports channel
3. Every window open
4. Warm breeze floating on through (don't be tempted to add air conditioning the warm breeze achieves much better results)
5. Random dance off sessions with yo' bad ass self.
6. Random singing at heartfelt tunes
7. A MotoGP race (on the TV)
8. Sunbaking on the balcony
9. Occasional ass scratch


Method:


The method is really quite simple: mix it all up adding only what you like, when you like.
Add clothing to taste.

Enjoy!

**I'll be back down at Forte Dei Marmi over the next couple of days, making like a beached whale & sunning myself on the beach. Don't miss me too much, sweeties!


Posted by Cherry! :: 5:55 pm :: 26 fans want a piece of The Cherry!

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Friday, June 23, 2006

Red Card, My Friend, Red Card

Somewhat caught up in the frenzy that is World Cup Fever I've started issuing my own red and yellow cards.

Following are just two examples of circumstances that were totally beyond my control and I had no other alternative but to issue RED CARDS:

RED CARD NUMERO UNO:

I received a phone call on Tuesday night at 12.45am after a month of me 'allegedly' giving the caller my number. He was Italian, claimed to be named Elvis (I'm not even joking and he wasn't either from what I could tell) and asked me if I was still in Milan. I spoke quickly in English to him, knowing he couldn't understand a word (it's the best trick in the world) before hanging up on him. He called back. When he asked me again if I was still in Milan I said yes and hung up again on 'The King'. I'm not, and never was, in Milan but I thought I'd throw him off the scent a bit. Create mass confusion, if you will. Quite clearly I did cause mass confusion but only for me. I thought hanging up on him twice was message enough. Can you believe he called again?? By this stage Elvis was getting on my nerves, so I just ignored it. Then he sent me a message saying he wanted to meet me for coffee. Dream on Elvis!

I think Elvis had his wires crossed. Firstly, I don't know anyone going around claiming to be Elvis, secondly I don't want to know anyone going around claiming to be Elvis. I've only ever been to Milan once, so I think he has the wrong person. But even if I was the correct person, why did he wait a month to call and then until 12.45am.

RED CARD NUMERO DUE:

Last night I was sitting at my computer, just Blog Whoring my way around blogs as I so love to do. Then at 11.45pm I received an sms. Before I delve into the details I'll just give you a bit of background info on this guy Luca. We met through one of KJ's students also named Luca and then te next night all four of us had dinner, and then I ran into him one night on Via Farini. I am not attracted to him in the slightest. He is so not attractive to me and he has a dress sense that even Blind Freddy could surpass. And I'm not being nasty there, I just speak the truth. Here's how the conversation went:

Luca: Hi how are you? Kisses Luca (bare in mind the kisses mean nothing. They throw that around like it's going out of fashion)

Cherry: Hi! I'm really well. Good to hear from you. How are you? Kisses

Luca: I'm fine. Where are you now? (WTF????)

Cherry: I'm in Parma until Tuesday morning. Doing nothing, just relaxing and enjoying it!

Luca: Are you at home alone? (Yes, and I have some racy red lingirie on, porn on the TV now all I need is you, big boy!)

Cherry: No. (A lie, I live alone but in an apartment above my boss. I don't want worlds colliding, if you know what I mean)

Luca: Would you like to meet me? (I'm thinking in a group scenario on Via Farini maybe, but you're freaking me out!)

Cherry: When? Next weekend is better for me. I don't want to do anything this weekend.

Luca: On Monday night is for me is good...at your home. (Actually, I don't believe I gave you the option of Monday night and in my house?? WTF??)

Cherry: No. I'm working Monday night. My house is not an option because I live in the apartment above my boss. Sorry.

Luca: So when for you?

Cherry: I'm afraid never for me, Luca. I've just had to issue you with a RED CARD!

WARNING: Cherry is a jerk free zone and if you try to get near her she will have no choice but to RED CARD you.

Posted by Cherry! :: 11:44 pm :: 20 fans want a piece of The Cherry!

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Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Chasing Cars


If I lay here.....

If I just lay here.....

Would you lie with me

and just forget

the world?

**All photographs taken by Cherry!

Posted by Cherry! :: 4:38 pm :: 26 fans want a piece of The Cherry!

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Monday, June 19, 2006

Saltwater & Sailing (or lack thereof)

I'm not in the greatest of moods today, but I shall endeavour to do my utmost to humour you all with a report on my trip to Sardinia, Island of Hope, Island of Dreams. That crap after the word 'Sardinia' is merely for dramatic effect, BTW.

So we got there after a long overnight ferry trip where there was a screaming child. Clearly by the intensity of it's howling there was something wrong with the little one, but the mother saw fit to just add to the noise by banging on the floor and doing that yell/whisper thing that peeps do and telling her to be quiet. And then instead of just going straight to check into where we were staying so we could freshen up and slightly resemble humans again, the peeps I was with wanted to dick around. Go and drink a coffee (in public looking like fucking dogshit...dignity people! Ever heard of it???), lie on the beach eat sandwiches, stop at another freaking bar for another freaking coffee and THEN finally check in. My god! And just when I thought it was safe to relax we have to go to the sailing course 'briefing'.

Though it's always fascinating to listen to a Roman man drone on and on in Roman dialect demonstrating rigging up the sail, after just having tied several knots for a couple hours (YES HOURS this shit was going on for !!!!!!!), I decided to high tail it, sans crew, back Base Camp and finally have a shower. Then I decided to part ways with the group and check out the bar, watch a bit of soccer and cook some dinner. One thing I learnt on this trip away is that I'm not into this whole group thing. Especially with Italians. I didn't know WTF was going on half the time. Whether we were coming or going. And that was only after 24hours.

So the next day we listened to the same Roman guy, obviously in love with the sound of his own voice, crap on for a couple of hours again. He was even chastisin peeps for talking and telling them to turn their cell phones off. After five minutes I switched off and marvelled at how high he had his pants pulled up, displaying his crotch for all to see which side he 'dresses to'. If only he was remotely good looking I may just have enjoyed staring at that crotch. After those couple of hours off me sitting there thinking I'd much prefer to be swallowing razor blades or sticking pins in my eyes we finally went to the boats. And we did an inventory check (fucking excitement) and then rigged up the sail. Yeah, hot stuff. So I told the teacher I was not going out to sea with them and that I was heading to the bar to watch Australia Vs Japan. And that, my friends, is as close to sailing as I got. Yep. Just stood there on the boat in the marina.

I didn't go back after that and opted, instead to watch the soccer matches, lie on the beach, swim, read. You know those things that you do to RELAX on a holiday. It may have been nice to go out one or two days, but one of the posse said you always had to be working and there was no time for relaxing. Fuck that. Am I the only person that has ever paid for something like this and then just ditched it due to intense boredom? Perhaps but I need to unwind.

I ended up meeting some really cool English geezers. It was awesome hanging out with them. Gaz and Becks are travelling around in a big fuck off motorhome that has all the comforts of home and Testy (aka Craig) was just overr for a bit of fun in the sun relaxation. One day the boys hired a speedboat and Becks and I went in it for about half an hour. That was very cool. The water is so blue and beautiful!

We went and watched the England soccer match and all the geezers were out of the wood works. Gaz and Testy had everyone in stitches with tales of when they were strippers for a year. Apparently, 'Tripod' and 'Lethal Magic' had quite the following!! There was also alot of discussion on whether anyone had ever 'lost their ring on the beach'. One lady's daughter had, in fact, lost her ring on the beach and that's when Gaz started quizzing Becks and I on whether we'd ever lost our rings on the beach. The lady heard and seriously thought I had lost an actual ring on the beach. OMG, it was hilarious.

Gaz then embarked on a story of the engagement of Testy and I and she seriously thought we were. She thought we had gone to the island together and that we lived together in England.

The second night we hit up the discoteque. The boys cut the rug and Becks and I sidestepped on the outskirts of the dance floor. They only played about five songs (true story) but it was just enough time for me to pull out some funked up aerobics moves which double as hot dance moves. The two chestnuts I pulled out were 'Grapevine' and 'Easy Walk' which had one punter declaring 'Grande!'. Yes, take a bow Cherry! Hot to trot!

There were clearly no age restrictions or dress codes at this hotspot. I was there in flip flops adn there was also a toddler flashing her diaper on the dance floor. Start them early! That's what I like to see. I was disappointed that there wasn't a smoke machine, but the strobe lighting more than made up for that.

Another day of relaxation and we were back on the ferry and back to reality. Namely Parma and the allergies it gives me. My eyes are like piss holes in the snow and the nose is shot to bits. Lovely!

Tomorrow I'm back off to Forte Dei Marmi for a few days and then back to Parma on the weekend. I think there is a party happening. This could be the chance for something to happen with Plan B.

On a side note, you'll never freaking believe this but it seems Mr. W. has had enough of wearing those high heeled boots, listening to my CD's and perusing the pages of my massage course notes because he has handed the loot over by way of Alex. I don't know why that fuckwit just didn't give it back to me ages ago. He has practially been with my CD's longer than he was with me! hahaha!

Sorry no pics because I'm on the computer at the school. I shall post some for you later!

I hope you have all been happy and healthy. I myself am about to embark on a spiritual journey. I'm not talking about vodka (although that may be involved). I have no idea of how I intend to take the said 'spiritual journey', but I'm searching for something. Not sure what it is either. But I need to get back to basics.

Take it easy peeps!

No spell check again. If you don't like bite me!

Posted by Cherry! :: 1:30 pm :: 23 fans want a piece of The Cherry!

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Saturday, June 10, 2006

Gone Sailing, Sweetie!

Loving myself sick as per usual in my Valentine Rossi get up!
I HEART THE DOCTOR!

This is just a quick one. I'm in Cinquale at the moment (just near Forte Dei Marmi) and the weather is divine! Tonight I'm setting off for the sailing expedition in Sardinia. I think the entire time may be spent plying myself with alcohol (after sailing each day) due the lack of exciting company I'll be in. Don't get me wrong, they are nice peeps, just not my kind of peeps. I'm considering flying solo and propping up the bar at a local hang out and playing the Italian impaired tourist. You never know what may come of that. But apparently each day we change boats to mix it up a little. I don't think I need to tell you what I'm hoping for: Well hung, handsome stranger with girth.

Replacing Lost Cock was never so much fun! This is moi trying on sunglasses whilst replacing my mobile phone

The drive to the ferry is, thankfully, only one hour. I'll be in a car with one person I've never met and another who I was stuck talking to at dinner one night. I was impressed that his English was self taught. But then the topic of conversation turned to his father going to Australia for a couple of days on business 12 years ago and that he was amazed that people stopped at the pedestrian crossings to let people cross. This was all delivered in a montone and, needless to say, I was beside myself with excitement with this topic.....*yawn*

This is me 'trackside' bitches!

The last couple of days I have been toying with the idea of returning to The Land Down Under for good at the end of the year. It's still at the stage of being nothing more than a thought, but nevertheless it's something I'm considering. I was really leaning towards it when last night I got an sms from someone who shall be known as Plan B. Some of you may know I had been thinking of sabotaging the Mr. W. romance before it actually ended and Plan B is the guy that was part of the reason for the possible sabotage. Anyway, I had sent him an sms complaining that I had not seen one hot person in this town sonce arriving, apart from when I have looked in the mirror. He replied that if I wanted to see the hottest guy then I should go to ****** (insert name of town here). I put the stars there, not for secrecy but because I can't spell the name of the town. So I wrote back I shall be knocking on his door upon my return. hahaha. It will probably never come to anything anyway, but a bit of flirting never hurt anyone!
Viva Il Dottore!

Last but not least, as promised, here it a pic of the cake that I prepared as per the recipe from my EWD British Delegate, none other than the lovely JIN!!!! Of course, this pic is nothing like the food pron she's churning out, but it's simply a taste sensation and due to popular demand I made it again yesterday. I have eaten a fair bit of it, all in the name of looking as repulsive as possible for this summer. Especially this week of sailing! Yeah! Sorry I haven't been my usual blog whoring self but I don't have my usual tools of trade (namely a computer with internet access!!!). Resat assured I'm still loving you all sick and will whore around when I next get the chance.

Love youse all!

PS If they're are eny erorrs in thiss opst. Sorry on tim to chelk.

Posted by Cherry! :: 12:10 pm :: 26 fans want a piece of The Cherry!

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Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Stacey & Cherry Versus Italia

Stacey arrived on Thursday and I soon joined her in Florence. Ah yes! Such fond memories of Florence! I did a day trip to the beautiful city over the holiday period (Dec 2005) and took a long stroll after lunch, slightly off the beaten track. Next thing I know a scooter riding fan is making like the Statue of David and getting his cock out for me. There was a slight difference though, and by that mean, his dick was not made of stone and the last time I checked the Statue of David wasn't wanking on the side of the road with his scooter parked next to him. They say I have a keen eye for detail and I think they're not far off the mark.

Stacey and I were welcomed with a good old fashioned Euro style anal probe. I'm not talking about the kind that one may actually be able to enjoy. No, I speak of nigh on twenty four hours of intense Stacey & Cherry Vs Italia Warfare. Stacey and I have been known amoung our peers as having a high level of intestinal fortitude and the inability to give up without a giggle, a vodka or a flick of the hair. These tactics failed us this weekend (in most cases anyway) as Italia pulled out the big guns.

We woke up, on time and despite the fact that my fringe was taking on a mind of it's own, we weren't taking it as a sign of the Day of Torture that was about to occur. We were catching the train to Borgo San Lorenzo and were expecting a shuttle bus to be there waiting to take us to the three day international event. We alighted the train and saw a few other peeps wanting to get there too. At this stage we were thinking that we were part of The Amazing Race. The other peeps going there were in couples and as we all stood there scratching our heads wondering WTF, I said to them 'I'll go and ask someone'. So in I go to ask for some info in my fabulous Italian. Stacey checked at the door at intervals to ensure that our Amazing Race competitors did not go off without us. We emerged from the station and wandered back to the road to inform our fellow competitors that, in fact, there were no buses that day or the next and that there only were on the Sunday. The day of the actual race.

Well guess what?!?!?! Those assholes had gone! Disappeared! Without us! We thought it was highly rude, given that we would've shared the info provided to us (since none of them spoke Ital and there was no one around that spoke English). Anyway, we put our disgust for the ill mannered assholes aside and mozied on down to a cafe and asked inside which way to The Track. It was five kilometres away, but we had no choice but to get there as we had to pick up the tickets that day. We were getting pit passes from one of the guys in the Suzuki team and it was really the only chance we had to pick them up because we didn't want to interfere with his work. A couple with a car that were eating their breakfast in the cafe offered us a ride to The Track. Thank the lord! If we had to walk, better it only be one way than both!

We arrived and waited circa 2.5 hours in the unpredictable weather outside the gates to collect the tickets. One minute it was freezing and blowing (not that kind of blowing, although there were a few that I would have in a heart beat) a gale and the next it was burning up. We finally got in, walked around checking out the pits (AMAZING!!! see pics when I finally post them!!), sussing out areas to sit on race day and then walked for 45 minutes in the wrong direction before realising and then walked back to the food set up area to rest our weary feet before getting a start on the journey back to Base Camp.

So there we sit, and just as we're about to start off a huge cloud comes along and it starts pissing it down. Lord! Will this day ever end! It seems it won't. Because we damn near had to walk the entire way back to the train station. On the way back I saw one of those little shrine type things, and though my companion scoffed at the idea, I prayed that someone would come and pick s up soon! It seems that praying does indeed pay off. For as we trekked along, a bus passed int he opposite direction adn then returned picking us up and taking us back into the town. Let it be said, at this point, that we had walked the best part of six kms under a burning sun, yet through some amazing Tuscan countryside. Eventhough we weren't having a great run of things we didn't stop laughing for too long. On a few occassions it was touch and go, but the other one managed to keep the other in good spirits. There was no point getting pissed off because it was beyond our control.

Once the bus dropped us off back in the town we then had the challenge of finding the train station. Three kilometres in the wrong direction, a torrential downpour, two broken Italian directional enquiries later and we were at the train station and on a train back to Florence. Only thing was the train didn't go all the way back to the central Florence station and we almost stayed on the train which was going BACK to the place we had come from. OMFG! If that had have happened, I wouldn't be here typing this long winded story. I would have jumped off the train and in front of another one. Seriously.

We arrived back in Florence near the apartment and thought we'd go and buy some food for dinner before stepping out and experiencing some of the nightlife with an Italian guy we'd met the night prior. Even the simple task of buying food from the supermarket turned into one major fucking saga. I kid you not. The supermarket near the station and conveniently close to our apartment was closed so we asked a local vendor where there another one might be. He gave directions and we gladly went there, not knowing what laid in wait for us. It would seem that every tourist in the city had the same idea as us. Had they all asked the same street vendor and had he laughed as we happily strolled off in the direction of the overpopulated and understocked supermarket?? Evenually approximately ONE FUCKING HOUR LATER, we left and headed for the hotel. This in itself took 45 mins and I thought my shoulders may break. Don't get me wrong, I appreciated the shoulder workout from lugging the heavy bags, but mentally I couldn't take the torture any longer. We were both near breaking point, but chanted the mantra 'Italia you won't beat us! Italia you won't beat us!'.

Knowing that the worst of the day was over we ate, had a few warm up drinks and whacked on the glad rags before hitting the town. Unfortunately, I actually hit the pavement, face plant style before actually getting to hit the town. My word! I was strutting along in my high, high heels while exchanging smart ass sms's with my bro when BAM! A small mound of ashphalt snuck up on moi and The Cherry came crashing down to the pavement ala Carrie Bradshaw on the beginning of Sex And The City. It was seriously like something out of a movie. One minute confidently mincing along, next minute biting the dust. Oh even two days later we nearly wetting ourselves with laughter. Way too funny. By this stage it was Stacey & Cherry NIL : Italia TOO MANY TO COUNT. Fuckers!

We met the guy, who turned out to be a bit of weirdo. Another story and I can't even be bothered getting into it. We went to a fab club we're things got ugly, I lost my phone and Stacey lost her camera. I didn't even blink an eyelid at buying a new phone. It seemed much less hassle than actaully searching for the thing. The only problem was that of the Lost Cock. Yeah, all the numbers. All the spadework I've been up to now seems to have been a waste. Jeanpaul has sms'd and I think the friends that I've made will but what about Paul???? Yes, he's in the States, but if he comes back??? Well I guess I did tell him to get in contact with me. I think KJ has his number anyway, so I shall just have to wait and see. And what about the pictures of ACTUAL cocks on there. *SIGH* Gone. Gone to cock heaven....Out of my grasp....*SIGH* Plenty more cock in the sea. And I seriously hope this is true since I'm going to be spending time at the sea side and also sailing.... Score check please! Stacey & Cherry NIL : Italia OFF THE SCORE BOARD. Hmmmmm........

Saturday we decided that it was better to stay in the 'trenches' than to step foot out into open territory where were likely to experience more shit. We did leave briefly but only to pick up some supplies. Namely, a new phone, food, wine and vodka ('for emergencies' quote unquote Stacey). We were lucky and the MotoGP qualifying laps were being shown on the TV. Tops!
The big day finally rocked around! The whole day was AWESOME! We found a fabulous spot to watch the race from, away from the plebs and quite close to a part of the track where the bikes come screaming past you. I cannot tell you how exciting it was! We took photos of the pits, I bought my Valentino Rossi singlet, visor and keyirng and settled in for the big race!
The Doctor (Valentino) won and then everyone jumped fences and did whatever they could to runto the track and then down to the stadium. Everyone with scooters and motorbikes took them down to the the track and started doing laps. AWESOME! AWESOME! AWESOME!

Stacey and I headed to the pits to thank Stuart for the tickets. The Suzuki garage was right next to the Yamaha garage. We were waiting outside of the Suzuki garage (for Stuart) and there HEAPS of peeps waiting outside of the Yamaha one to try and catch a glimpse of The Doctor. Wouldn't you know it? He came down the spiral staircase in between the two garages and we enjoyed an uninteruppted view of the man himself! Much to his delight I mamaged to pass him my autograph before he had to leave.

Still waiting, John Hopkins (the guy that Stuart is the Chief Mechanic for) came out. A few Italians were asking for his gloves, autographs, photos and at one point I think one may have even asked for his mojo. 'Let the guy breathe mofo's!' I felt like saying. But instead I waited until the fuss died down and then said in a very 'I know what I'm talking about' wanker voice, coupled with a serious look on my face 'Good race John' and nodded. HAHAHAHAHAHA! He looked over and said thanks and nodded back. HAHAHAHAHAHA! He rode off and Stacey and I nearly died laughing. Let the record state that I was NOT taking the piss out of him, I was just being a tool because it's what I do.

Soon after Stuart came along and we got to go inside the Suzuki garage. Again totally unreal! I loved it! The whole setup of the garages and the pit area is amazing! They have full bars and restaurants set up for each team. They set these up for each race that they go to in Europe.

The way home went well and we were offered a lift by two guys. One very sexy and the other not so sexy who tried to rub his dick against my ass when we got out of the car. I would've been loving it if it was the sexy one, but it wasn't.....And, sadly, they lived in Napoli. No chance of getting a bit of that!

All in all depsite the bad start to the weekend we had a great time! I'm now obssessed with MotoGP and I'm looking at other European races that I can make it to. Yeeha!
Sorry for the long winded story but I'm just putting off packing AGAIN to go to Forte Dei Marmi tomorrow and Sardinia on Saturday. I'm looking forward to it, but I just hate the fucking packing!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**Again no pics. Sorry! All in good time! There are some fab ones! Especially the one where I'm handing 'The Doctor' my autograph.

Posted by Cherry! :: 8:56 pm :: 16 fans want a piece of The Cherry!

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