Friday, May 19, 2006
Like seagulls to a chip, and flies to dog shit. So are the Days Of Our Lives....
Oh yes peeps! The Resurrection of the computer downstairs in Pam & Michele's place has allowed me to get back to my Blog Whoring ways. It was not the huge problem that they originally thought. Phew! So now I can also post pics of last week's frivolity when Emma was here (they were saved on this computer).
The mirror that I hit the lady with last week (sorry lady)
This week the Mr. Wonderful Saga has continued in a very non eventful kind of way. Let me get you up to speed with that, my little pretties. Here in chronological order is the way it unfolded, or maybe remained folded because nothing really has happened.....
Me after just after the 'incident' with the mirror and fat lady.
I received an sms from him in the morning saying good morning and that he was going to church. I respond with call me later if you want. Obviously, he didn't 'want' because he didn't call me. hahaha! Then, like, the worse thing, like, ever happened! *HAIR FLICK* I had dropped keys back at Allie's house and was driving over to Jenny's and guess who drove past as I was turning out????? FUCK!!! I could have died! Yes, it was Mr. W. We both looked at each other but we didn't call each other or anything. Anyway, later that night I just sms'd him a 'Hi. How are you? What are you doing?' and he just replied that he was watching TV and then going to dinner with his friend. Admittedly, I was cursing myself for even sending that because I thought he hadn't responded, but the signal in Jenny's apartment is non existent unless you put it right at the front window and even then not so crash hot. So he had replied, I just didn't get it until later.
This girl (waitress) is a complete bitch. We had to document it. She was SO fucking rude, not just to us, but to everyone
This pic is not so great, but the ass sitting behind that thing with the red hair it the one that was snapping me on his cell phone. The others are in his posse drinking from bowls.
Tuesday: I sent an sms. NO RESPONSE!
Me. Before he started taking pics. I personally am loving the double chin look.
Emma and I at the soccer match
Thursday: I decided the day before that enough was enough and that I'd just send an sms saying I'd be over to collect my belongings. I really can do without the mind fucks after my ex boyfriend and that is exactly the way this is turning out. So I sms'd him and said 'I finish work at 9.30 and need to come and pick up my things. Is it okay if I come around after for 5minutes?'. He responded that I couldn't because his Nonno's brother had died and the funeral is today. So I wrote back 'Okay. When can you?'.............or what I thought was 'when can you?' (in Italian) I forgot to put the question mark in so it was what I then thought was 'When you can'. Then I arrived at the school, filled the girls in and then found out I had left out a letter in one of the words so what I had actually written was 'Okay. When then'. OMFG! Nice one Cher! If you were wanting to come across as a rude, cold hearted bitch from hell, then keep it up! But wait, because it gets worse. I then decide that I'll quickly send him an sms saying 'Sorry I meant this not that blah blah'. I forgot my fucking phone! So I wasn't able to sms him until midnight when i got home. I just wrote 'I'm really sorry. I meant to write 'When you can', not 'when then'. let me know when you're free'. *SIGH*
I couldn't decide which pic of us I liked better so I put them both up. hahaha!
I'm not trying to get back with him. Fuck that. But I just didn't want to come across as a rude bitch and then ONE! FUCKING! LETTER! screws that all up. Just because he has been rude doesn't mean I have to stoop to his level but whatever..... I'll call him on the weekend to arrange a time to go over.
Parma's Number One Fan (aka Emma)
So that's that! And before anyone says to me 'But someone died. That is the reason he hasn't contacted you' I'd just like to point out that I am extremely well versed in literary masterpieces such as 'He's Just Not That Into You' (yes, as seen on Oprah, biatches!). He has a phone, last time I saw him he had fingers, a voice box, a beating heart and *SNIFF* a cock (the last one has nothing to do with it though I just wanted to say it) so he is oh so capable of calling moi. I am a realist, some say pessamist, but I say realist. So I say to you all that there are plently more cocks where that came from! Don't cry for me Argentina. NEXT PLEASE!
That is the HORSE MEAT section in the supermarket. They EAT HORSE in Parma
Tonight I fancy going to Via Farini and I'm trying to russel up the gals. The weather is glorious and, after all, it is 'Cheat On Your Partner In Parma Night', so there will be lots of peeps out. Friday nights in Parma are when everyone goes out separately from their partners and cheats or at least checks out their options. Saturday nights are for the couples.
Via Farini. Not the greatest pic but we had to disguise that we were taking the pic of the Bitch Waitress
I'm also happy to announce that Italo has resurrected my hair straightener. It had been shorting out for a while and then finally on Monday the cord melted. Apparently it was from bending the cord. At the time it died, I didn't know whether to be more upset over Mr. Wonderful or the hair straightener. But it's back and that's fab!
Me. Loving myself sick in Mr. W's. Nothing new there.
This week I have been thinking that if there was a theme song for my life right now it would be 'We've Only Just Begun' by The Carpenters (so gay it's fabulous), mixed in while there's some MAJOR vinyl scratching happening with 'Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again (No Way Get Fucked Fuck Off)' by The Angels. Another feature song on the CD would def be 'Gimmie Head' by The Radiators. How could it not be there????
Emma thought this was the most hilarious park ever by me in The Terror Mobile. It caused a few stares by some old men, but I was like 'Bitches! It's, like, so totally still in the lines! So, like, kiss my ass!' And that is my ass poking out there for them to kiss.
What would your theme song be?
**I realise that the pics may interupt the actual post but it's just a cheap ploy to force you to look at each and every one. Jin: Evil World Domination has begun!
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