Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Stacey & Cherry Versus Italia
Stacey arrived on Thursday and I soon joined her in Florence. Ah yes! Such fond memories of Florence! I did a day trip to the beautiful city over the holiday period (Dec 2005) and took a long stroll after lunch, slightly off the beaten track. Next thing I know a scooter riding fan is making like the Statue of David and getting his cock out for me. There was a slight difference though, and by that mean, his dick was not made of stone and the last time I checked the Statue of David wasn't wanking on the side of the road with his scooter parked next to him. They say I have a keen eye for detail and I think they're not far off the mark.
Stacey and I were welcomed with a good old fashioned Euro style anal probe. I'm not talking about the kind that one may actually be able to enjoy. No, I speak of nigh on twenty four hours of intense Stacey & Cherry Vs Italia Warfare. Stacey and I have been known amoung our peers as having a high level of intestinal fortitude and the inability to give up without a giggle, a vodka or a flick of the hair. These tactics failed us this weekend (in most cases anyway) as Italia pulled out the big guns.
We woke up, on time and despite the fact that my fringe was taking on a mind of it's own, we weren't taking it as a sign of the Day of Torture that was about to occur. We were catching the train to Borgo San Lorenzo and were expecting a shuttle bus to be there waiting to take us to the three day international event. We alighted the train and saw a few other peeps wanting to get there too. At this stage we were thinking that we were part of The Amazing Race. The other peeps going there were in couples and as we all stood there scratching our heads wondering WTF, I said to them 'I'll go and ask someone'. So in I go to ask for some info in my fabulous Italian. Stacey checked at the door at intervals to ensure that our Amazing Race competitors did not go off without us. We emerged from the station and wandered back to the road to inform our fellow competitors that, in fact, there were no buses that day or the next and that there only were on the Sunday. The day of the actual race.
Well guess what?!?!?! Those assholes had gone! Disappeared! Without us! We thought it was highly rude, given that we would've shared the info provided to us (since none of them spoke Ital and there was no one around that spoke English). Anyway, we put our disgust for the ill mannered assholes aside and mozied on down to a cafe and asked inside which way to The Track. It was five kilometres away, but we had no choice but to get there as we had to pick up the tickets that day. We were getting pit passes from one of the guys in the Suzuki team and it was really the only chance we had to pick them up because we didn't want to interfere with his work. A couple with a car that were eating their breakfast in the cafe offered us a ride to The Track. Thank the lord! If we had to walk, better it only be one way than both!
We arrived and waited circa 2.5 hours in the unpredictable weather outside the gates to collect the tickets. One minute it was freezing and blowing (not that kind of blowing, although there were a few that I would have in a heart beat) a gale and the next it was burning up. We finally got in, walked around checking out the pits (AMAZING!!! see pics when I finally post them!!), sussing out areas to sit on race day and then walked for 45 minutes in the wrong direction before realising and then walked back to the food set up area to rest our weary feet before getting a start on the journey back to Base Camp.
So there we sit, and just as we're about to start off a huge cloud comes along and it starts pissing it down. Lord! Will this day ever end! It seems it won't. Because we damn near had to walk the entire way back to the train station. On the way back I saw one of those little shrine type things, and though my companion scoffed at the idea, I prayed that someone would come and pick s up soon! It seems that praying does indeed pay off. For as we trekked along, a bus passed int he opposite direction adn then returned picking us up and taking us back into the town. Let it be said, at this point, that we had walked the best part of six kms under a burning sun, yet through some amazing Tuscan countryside. Eventhough we weren't having a great run of things we didn't stop laughing for too long. On a few occassions it was touch and go, but the other one managed to keep the other in good spirits. There was no point getting pissed off because it was beyond our control.
Once the bus dropped us off back in the town we then had the challenge of finding the train station. Three kilometres in the wrong direction, a torrential downpour, two broken Italian directional enquiries later and we were at the train station and on a train back to Florence. Only thing was the train didn't go all the way back to the central Florence station and we almost stayed on the train which was going BACK to the place we had come from. OMFG! If that had have happened, I wouldn't be here typing this long winded story. I would have jumped off the train and in front of another one. Seriously.
We arrived back in Florence near the apartment and thought we'd go and buy some food for dinner before stepping out and experiencing some of the nightlife with an Italian guy we'd met the night prior. Even the simple task of buying food from the supermarket turned into one major fucking saga. I kid you not. The supermarket near the station and conveniently close to our apartment was closed so we asked a local vendor where there another one might be. He gave directions and we gladly went there, not knowing what laid in wait for us. It would seem that every tourist in the city had the same idea as us. Had they all asked the same street vendor and had he laughed as we happily strolled off in the direction of the overpopulated and understocked supermarket?? Evenually approximately ONE FUCKING HOUR LATER, we left and headed for the hotel. This in itself took 45 mins and I thought my shoulders may break. Don't get me wrong, I appreciated the shoulder workout from lugging the heavy bags, but mentally I couldn't take the torture any longer. We were both near breaking point, but chanted the mantra 'Italia you won't beat us! Italia you won't beat us!'.
Knowing that the worst of the day was over we ate, had a few warm up drinks and whacked on the glad rags before hitting the town. Unfortunately, I actually hit the pavement, face plant style before actually getting to hit the town. My word! I was strutting along in my high, high heels while exchanging smart ass sms's with my bro when BAM! A small mound of ashphalt snuck up on moi and The Cherry came crashing down to the pavement ala Carrie Bradshaw on the beginning of Sex And The City. It was seriously like something out of a movie. One minute confidently mincing along, next minute biting the dust. Oh even two days later we nearly wetting ourselves with laughter. Way too funny. By this stage it was Stacey & Cherry NIL : Italia TOO MANY TO COUNT. Fuckers!
We met the guy, who turned out to be a bit of weirdo. Another story and I can't even be bothered getting into it. We went to a fab club we're things got ugly, I lost my phone and Stacey lost her camera. I didn't even blink an eyelid at buying a new phone. It seemed much less hassle than actaully searching for the thing. The only problem was that of the Lost Cock. Yeah, all the numbers. All the spadework I've been up to now seems to have been a waste. Jeanpaul has sms'd and I think the friends that I've made will but what about Paul???? Yes, he's in the States, but if he comes back??? Well I guess I did tell him to get in contact with me. I think KJ has his number anyway, so I shall just have to wait and see. And what about the pictures of ACTUAL cocks on there. *SIGH* Gone. Gone to cock heaven....Out of my grasp....*SIGH* Plenty more cock in the sea. And I seriously hope this is true since I'm going to be spending time at the sea side and also sailing.... Score check please! Stacey & Cherry NIL : Italia OFF THE SCORE BOARD. Hmmmmm........
Saturday we decided that it was better to stay in the 'trenches' than to step foot out into open territory where were likely to experience more shit. We did leave briefly but only to pick up some supplies. Namely, a new phone, food, wine and vodka ('for emergencies' quote unquote Stacey). We were lucky and the MotoGP qualifying laps were being shown on the TV. Tops!
The big day finally rocked around! The whole day was AWESOME! We found a fabulous spot to watch the race from, away from the plebs and quite close to a part of the track where the bikes come screaming past you. I cannot tell you how exciting it was! We took photos of the pits, I bought my Valentino Rossi singlet, visor and keyirng and settled in for the big race!
The Doctor (Valentino) won and then everyone jumped fences and did whatever they could to runto the track and then down to the stadium. Everyone with scooters and motorbikes took them down to the the track and started doing laps. AWESOME! AWESOME! AWESOME!
Stacey and I headed to the pits to thank Stuart for the tickets. The Suzuki garage was right next to the Yamaha garage. We were waiting outside of the Suzuki garage (for Stuart) and there HEAPS of peeps waiting outside of the Yamaha one to try and catch a glimpse of The Doctor. Wouldn't you know it? He came down the spiral staircase in between the two garages and we enjoyed an uninteruppted view of the man himself! Much to his delight I mamaged to pass him my autograph before he had to leave.
Still waiting, John Hopkins (the guy that Stuart is the Chief Mechanic for) came out. A few Italians were asking for his gloves, autographs, photos and at one point I think one may have even asked for his mojo. 'Let the guy breathe mofo's!' I felt like saying. But instead I waited until the fuss died down and then said in a very 'I know what I'm talking about' wanker voice, coupled with a serious look on my face 'Good race John' and nodded. HAHAHAHAHAHA! He looked over and said thanks and nodded back. HAHAHAHAHAHA! He rode off and Stacey and I nearly died laughing. Let the record state that I was NOT taking the piss out of him, I was just being a tool because it's what I do.
Soon after Stuart came along and we got to go inside the Suzuki garage. Again totally unreal! I loved it! The whole setup of the garages and the pit area is amazing! They have full bars and restaurants set up for each team. They set these up for each race that they go to in Europe.
The way home went well and we were offered a lift by two guys. One very sexy and the other not so sexy who tried to rub his dick against my ass when we got out of the car. I would've been loving it if it was the sexy one, but it wasn't.....And, sadly, they lived in Napoli. No chance of getting a bit of that!
All in all depsite the bad start to the weekend we had a great time! I'm now obssessed with MotoGP and I'm looking at other European races that I can make it to. Yeeha!
Sorry for the long winded story but I'm just putting off packing AGAIN to go to Forte Dei Marmi tomorrow and Sardinia on Saturday. I'm looking forward to it, but I just hate the fucking packing!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
**Again no pics. Sorry! All in good time! There are some fab ones! Especially the one where I'm handing 'The Doctor' my autograph.
Posted by Cherry! ::
8:56 pm ::
16 fans want a piece of The Cherry!
You want a piece too???