Cherry Goes Global

Monday, June 19, 2006

Saltwater & Sailing (or lack thereof)

I'm not in the greatest of moods today, but I shall endeavour to do my utmost to humour you all with a report on my trip to Sardinia, Island of Hope, Island of Dreams. That crap after the word 'Sardinia' is merely for dramatic effect, BTW.

So we got there after a long overnight ferry trip where there was a screaming child. Clearly by the intensity of it's howling there was something wrong with the little one, but the mother saw fit to just add to the noise by banging on the floor and doing that yell/whisper thing that peeps do and telling her to be quiet. And then instead of just going straight to check into where we were staying so we could freshen up and slightly resemble humans again, the peeps I was with wanted to dick around. Go and drink a coffee (in public looking like fucking dogshit...dignity people! Ever heard of it???), lie on the beach eat sandwiches, stop at another freaking bar for another freaking coffee and THEN finally check in. My god! And just when I thought it was safe to relax we have to go to the sailing course 'briefing'.

Though it's always fascinating to listen to a Roman man drone on and on in Roman dialect demonstrating rigging up the sail, after just having tied several knots for a couple hours (YES HOURS this shit was going on for !!!!!!!), I decided to high tail it, sans crew, back Base Camp and finally have a shower. Then I decided to part ways with the group and check out the bar, watch a bit of soccer and cook some dinner. One thing I learnt on this trip away is that I'm not into this whole group thing. Especially with Italians. I didn't know WTF was going on half the time. Whether we were coming or going. And that was only after 24hours.

So the next day we listened to the same Roman guy, obviously in love with the sound of his own voice, crap on for a couple of hours again. He was even chastisin peeps for talking and telling them to turn their cell phones off. After five minutes I switched off and marvelled at how high he had his pants pulled up, displaying his crotch for all to see which side he 'dresses to'. If only he was remotely good looking I may just have enjoyed staring at that crotch. After those couple of hours off me sitting there thinking I'd much prefer to be swallowing razor blades or sticking pins in my eyes we finally went to the boats. And we did an inventory check (fucking excitement) and then rigged up the sail. Yeah, hot stuff. So I told the teacher I was not going out to sea with them and that I was heading to the bar to watch Australia Vs Japan. And that, my friends, is as close to sailing as I got. Yep. Just stood there on the boat in the marina.

I didn't go back after that and opted, instead to watch the soccer matches, lie on the beach, swim, read. You know those things that you do to RELAX on a holiday. It may have been nice to go out one or two days, but one of the posse said you always had to be working and there was no time for relaxing. Fuck that. Am I the only person that has ever paid for something like this and then just ditched it due to intense boredom? Perhaps but I need to unwind.

I ended up meeting some really cool English geezers. It was awesome hanging out with them. Gaz and Becks are travelling around in a big fuck off motorhome that has all the comforts of home and Testy (aka Craig) was just overr for a bit of fun in the sun relaxation. One day the boys hired a speedboat and Becks and I went in it for about half an hour. That was very cool. The water is so blue and beautiful!

We went and watched the England soccer match and all the geezers were out of the wood works. Gaz and Testy had everyone in stitches with tales of when they were strippers for a year. Apparently, 'Tripod' and 'Lethal Magic' had quite the following!! There was also alot of discussion on whether anyone had ever 'lost their ring on the beach'. One lady's daughter had, in fact, lost her ring on the beach and that's when Gaz started quizzing Becks and I on whether we'd ever lost our rings on the beach. The lady heard and seriously thought I had lost an actual ring on the beach. OMG, it was hilarious.

Gaz then embarked on a story of the engagement of Testy and I and she seriously thought we were. She thought we had gone to the island together and that we lived together in England.

The second night we hit up the discoteque. The boys cut the rug and Becks and I sidestepped on the outskirts of the dance floor. They only played about five songs (true story) but it was just enough time for me to pull out some funked up aerobics moves which double as hot dance moves. The two chestnuts I pulled out were 'Grapevine' and 'Easy Walk' which had one punter declaring 'Grande!'. Yes, take a bow Cherry! Hot to trot!

There were clearly no age restrictions or dress codes at this hotspot. I was there in flip flops adn there was also a toddler flashing her diaper on the dance floor. Start them early! That's what I like to see. I was disappointed that there wasn't a smoke machine, but the strobe lighting more than made up for that.

Another day of relaxation and we were back on the ferry and back to reality. Namely Parma and the allergies it gives me. My eyes are like piss holes in the snow and the nose is shot to bits. Lovely!

Tomorrow I'm back off to Forte Dei Marmi for a few days and then back to Parma on the weekend. I think there is a party happening. This could be the chance for something to happen with Plan B.

On a side note, you'll never freaking believe this but it seems Mr. W. has had enough of wearing those high heeled boots, listening to my CD's and perusing the pages of my massage course notes because he has handed the loot over by way of Alex. I don't know why that fuckwit just didn't give it back to me ages ago. He has practially been with my CD's longer than he was with me! hahaha!

Sorry no pics because I'm on the computer at the school. I shall post some for you later!

I hope you have all been happy and healthy. I myself am about to embark on a spiritual journey. I'm not talking about vodka (although that may be involved). I have no idea of how I intend to take the said 'spiritual journey', but I'm searching for something. Not sure what it is either. But I need to get back to basics.

Take it easy peeps!

No spell check again. If you don't like bite me!

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