Thursday, August 24, 2006

Hung Like A Horse

She's HAWT!

Who's that fabulous, foxy mama flying that Italian flag? It's me! Obviously with a future so bright I have to wear shades 24/7. Rockin'! This picture was taken after we'd seen the palio in Siena. It's sheer madness, I tells ya, sheer madness.

A gate into Siena

So this is the gate to Siena (or something), the streets are lined with the different flags of all the different districts of the city. Then each district (well the districts change each race) has a horse that goes in the race. The race is fucking crazy. No one knows the order that the horses will line up to start the race until just before they start doing so. Each of the horses names are called out one by one and they go behind a rope. That's all just a rope, not like in a proper horse race. Then when, and only when, all the horses are lined up and facing the front and as under control as what they could possibly be then the race begins. If there are horses acting up they all have to go back and the start lining up again. I think the horses were lining up for a good 30 - 40 minutes in this race. I think they should change the rules and disqualify any horse that is a repeat offender because it was the grey horse's fault that it took so long. It was mental and would only face the back.

A street lined with flags

Anyway, the race only goes for three laps of the piazza and doesn't last very long at all, given all the pomp and ceremony that goes along with it. Leading up to it there's a whole lot of peeps in brightly coloured costumes, throwing flags around, banging drums, riding horses and the like. The jockeys are also wearing brightly coloured costumes but nothing too fancy as it would clash with the nike running shoes they were all wearing. They also ride bare back. Scary shit going at the speed they do on those psycho horses.

This is a little piazza decked out with all the flags etc.

Before the actual palio started we went and checked out the piazza to soak up the atmosphere. Really soak it up before hitting a bar, watching it on the TV and soaking up some vodka. Well the real reason we went to a bar was so that we could actually see the race. You can stand in the middle of the track which is packed and not see anything, hire a seat on the outskirts of the track, which will set you back about $500 or hightail it to the comfort of a bar.

Horses of the carabinieri, not the horses in the race. I love the carabinieri. Tasty!

Allie and I chose the latter. It was a pretty cool little place and we were soon joined by peeps from all walks of life. One group of young teenagers. Two guys and two gals. The older boy was decked out in very gay-esque clothes that reminded me of the 80's. Think Wham, think 'Wake Me Up Before You Go Go' (fuck I totally loves that song!!). So he was wearing a tight, fluro green shirt and his girlfriend was one of the gals in their posse. At one stage the Wham Boy's telephone rang he answered it and then his gf signalled to him to say hi to whoever it was on the phone. From what I could gather he either didn't pass on the message or she got the massive shits and started sulking because he said 'Auguri' (best wishes) from her instead of the simple 'Ciao' she had wished for. He tried to make amends by buying her an icecream, which after he bought, she refused and continued to sit there sulking for quite a while. They made up somewhere along the line but I must have missed that because when I turned back they were making out like madmen. If only I knew how to say in Italian 'Please keep Public Displays of Affection to a minimum'......

The opposite side of the piazza to the belltower side. Taken just so you 'get a feel' for the place. If you want to 'get a feel' of me, just let me know and we'll work something out.

When I was thinking this morning about what I was going to write in this post I started thinking about that gal's little performance and then it made start thinking about the way bitches just start sulking for no reason purely to get attention from their bf's / husbands / whatever. It's like that baby talk thing I posted a little while ago. There are so many things about the way gals behave in relationships that kill me. It's as if as soon as they get a bf or around their bf their brain goes fucking crazy. Why not just act the way you are around your friends? The way you really are. I mean if a friend wasn't paying you the attention you wanted would you just start fucking sulking until they said repeatedly asked 'What's the matter?' and you replied repeatedly 'Nothing' in a pouty kind of way.

Yes, what a fucking hot shot! Makes me look like a little teapot: short and stout, which is all the rage at the mo'.

Also when I was out and about this morning thinking of what to write I stumbled across a porno on the pavement. Not of the magazine variety but of the DVD variety. How does that happen? I ask you?

The piazza. That bell tower is SOOOOO tall.

Another funny thing we saw on the TV the other night whislt drinking scotch on the rocks, wearing wigs, fake ears, singing into bright pink dusters and dancing to some sort of pathetic music at Soe and Lucio's was an ad for a series of DVD's. It was a whole stack of movies who's theme was serial killers. Silence of the Lambs was one of them and the rest were of the same mould. That's not the funny part though. The funny part was that the next ad that immediately followed was for a set of knives and then the ad following that one was some sort of cartoon character wielding a machete, kung fu style. Maybe they're trying to promote serial killers in society.

The bell tower (the one in the pic above but from a diff angle)

That's pretty much it for the mo'. Besides stepping on the scales yesterday and then immediately wanting to step off a cliff, most things are pretty damn good! I have been out exercising for the last two days in Cittadella a beautiful park in Parma where everyone goes to be seen exercising. It's quite amusing to watch all the people. So this is the start of my effort to get back into shape ready for the summer! Yes, that's right suckers! Two summers! *insert Evil World Domination laugh here*

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