Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Si, sweetie, si!

On Saturday my New American Friend, Maritza, and I popped up to Milan for the day. We had lunch in the Galleria, shopped, spun three times on the bull's balls for luck and then went to her friend's birthday party.

Evidentally, spinning on the bull's balls did not bring us luck. Quite the contrary. We had a good time at the party, laughing about Maritza's ex boyfriend an American soldier that speaks Italian with an American accent, can't conjugate the verbs and is under the illusion that his linguistic skills are on par with that of a native speaker. Take the phrase 'Tavola per due per favore' (table for two please) and say it with the thickest American accent and then some. Voila! There you have a vague idea of the way this cocky young lad likes to speak.

I did love the way the Born Again Christian Girl at the party spoke though. Not only her Italian (again American accent but not SO bad), but the over annunciation of her english gave me every reason to go and sit out on the balcony, well and truly out of ear shot. Try saying the following with an American accent and in a completely over the top, over exaggerated manner 'Oh my god, you guys-ah! The apartment looks SOOOOO nice-ah!'

Maybe it was karma for taking the piss out of the way her ex speaks Italian or a wrong spin on the bull's balls, but we ended up missing the last train back to the Land of Ham and Cheese, Parma. We caught a train to Piacenza and then had to pay an obscene amount of euros to get back to my place with the Satan Faced Cab Driver and his irritating choice of music. I passed the time showing Maritza my fabulous impressions of Oprah (various episodes), Valley Girls (like, hi! okay!) and various models from the Models Talk segment on Fashion TV. Just quietly, I think she was very impressed.

We soon arrived back at The 'Ganza and I could have danced a merry jig, had I the energy. My luck continues to decline with my mobile telephone deciding to throw in the towel mid sms. I'm praying for a miracle that it repairs itself over night.

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