Cherry Goes Global

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Lookin' Out For Luuurve! Sweet Sweet Luuurve!

Yesterday was as good a day as any, I decided, to update my internet dating profile now that I am here indefinitely. I think it was because Miss Olympia had left and I had such a good time on Saturday night that I thought it was high time I started meeting people around here to play with. Not one to don rose coloured glasses, I know I'm not going meet The One straight off the bat (if at all) with these modern methods o' romance. So I was thinking perhaps, at the very least, I'd meet some cool people along the way.

Since upping the anti and including a photo in the profile (not a great shot, but a shot nonetheless) there has been many a response. As I type, there has been one VERY promising response indeed. A hot chap living not so far from here. As I was writing to a friend earlier today, this time (especially with the newly updated profile) I am simply not interested in meeting freaking penpals. I mean, what the hell is that anyway? Are we still in year six teeing up peeps in the town's sister city to write to? I think not. If you're on a dating site aren't you interested in actually meeting the person and seeing where it leads???? Even if it only leads to friendship?

There really has been only one or two promising leads, with many a memorable profile attempting to lure cupid's arrow my way. One of the non picture profiles that wrote to me said something along the lines of him being a genie and if I rubbed the golden lamp I would certainly get my three wishes. He then proceeded to write that if my first wish was to meet a good looking, charming, blah, blah, blah (my vision became blurred at this point due to the corny, wankerish nature of the description of himself) then my first wish had, indeed, already been granted. Excuse me???? Show me a picture and let me be the judge of that!! Let us not jump to conclusions Oh Confident One!! I promptly replied. No greeting. Email address and a short statement 'Pic please'. After receiving his picture I decided to exercise my right of 'NO REPLY'. Put simply, he just wasn't my type (read TRULY HORRENDOUS). And that is most definitely being kind. Shallow? I think so. But, frankly, after his little 'genie' self fellatio escapade, highly warranted. Feel free to disagree via the comment tab. If I really was being a bitch I could definitely put his photo up for all to see. But I'm not that much of a bitch........

Another man contacted me by way of an essay. An unusual method in this day and age of abbreviated emails and text messages. The message was so long, consisting of introduction, body and conclusion. Introduction stating that he hoped that this was not one of many messages that I had received today, but if it was he hoped that his had caught my attention. It's safe to assume anything over fifty pages long does catch my attention. A brief summary included a self introduction, places currently residing, working and past tenses of the aforementioned. He then continued on about what caught his eye about my profile. Apparently, it wasn't the hot pic (haha! it's actually quite revolting!!), it was the 'realness' of the little blurbs I chose to write. This, I found, to be extremely flattering and I must say, it definitely made me think 'Could I actually date this guy?'. Another quick look at his picture and I decided no. Beyond the facial hair and the long hair (just not my type, yet again), the clincher was the duffel coat and the cigar hanging out of the mouth. In conclusion he wrote that he, too, would be concise in saying that he hoped that I liked his message and that he was wanting someone that he would be happy with in general and devoid of all of the depressing, wordly issues that take over our lives today (at first anyway,he said). I'm willing to admit that I did very much like this guy's essay, and probably will email him back just to say I like what he stands for but I'm not attracted to him..... Is this a bad thing? Is this something that, in general, is done? If so, how? Without sounding like a complete snobby bitch? Does everyone in this situation choose the avoidance tactic??? Oh to be morally challenged! Suggestions most welcome! However, I think in light of what I previously stated (the rose coloured glasses thing), I will respond and tell him thanks but no thanks but maybe friendship is on the cards??? Hmmmmmm................

Other admirers included Mark. Thanks for the message Mark, but no I don't 'wanna chat' and Mr Seperated 44 yr old with Man Boobs and Hanging Gut, pictured clinging on for dear life on board a yacht, thanks for the virtual kiss, but unfortunately I got seasick looking at your jugs that were clearly larger than mine. I like yachts, but a virual kiss was way out of the question. I also have Gianmarco happening. He seems quite interesting eventhough he wrote in his broken english that red wine was his best friend. Could it be that I found him to be so interesting, purely because we have best friends in common? No, it was also the fact that he entitled his email 'Hi Girl' which really took me back to my Oxford Street days. Amazingly, the use of this one simple phrase has given him an edge.........

So, The Internet Dating Stage Two scenario, thus far, has Federcio looking to be in front of Gianmarco, but only by a nose, with the rest of the pack lingering in their wake. I may end up with nothing out of this entire exercise. Stranger things have happened..........Will anyone be in receipt of a blue ribbon?? Only time will tell.

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