Wednesday, February 22, 2006
The Seven Deadly Sins
Last night I was teaching my student the word 'team'. Interestingly, he somehow turned the topic to The Seven Deadly Sins. This is the second time this has come up in a matter of days so I thought I'd check out what different sites have to say. At the end of each sin, I've outlined my sins (in bold) which are sure to send me to a fate worse than that of a drug mule that's just been sentenced to life imprisonment in the 'Bangkok Hilton'.
What it is: Envy is the desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation.
Why you do it: Because other people are so much luckier, smarter, more attractive, and better than you.
Your punishment in Hell will be: You'll be put in freezing water.
Associated symbols & suchlike: Envy is linked with the dog and the color green.
My envy of people with bigger boobs than me and / or enough money to have a boob job.
What it is: Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work.
Why you do it: You're shiftless, lazy, and good fer nuthin'.
Your punishment in Hell will be: You'll be thrown into snake pits.
Associated symbols & suchlike: Sloth is linked with the goat and the color light blue.
There's no one specific activity that I can pinpoint for this one. Way too many to choose from....
What it is: Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.
Why you do it: Because you were weaned improperly as an infant.
Your punishment in Hell will be: You'll be force-fed rats, toads, and snakes.
Associated symbols & suchlike: Gluttony is linked with the pig and the color orange.
If only I had graphed the consumption of cheese, salami, prosciutto, chocolate, riette, pate, foie gras and wine since I have been in Italy and when I was in France.....
What it is: Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath.
Why you do it: You're wired for it. Also, the people around you are pretty damn irritating.
Your punishment in Hell will be: You'll be dismembered alive.
Associated symbols & suchlike: Anger is linked with the bear and the color red.
Ashlee Simpson makes me opt for fury. I can't stand the lip synching cow. She makes me 'wanna LaLa' (whatever the hell that is).
What it is: Pride is excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity.
Why you do it: Well-meaning elementary school teachers told you to "believe in yourself."
Your punishment in Hell will be: You'll be broken on the wheel.
Associated symbols & suchlike: Pride is linked with the horse and the color violet.
It's true. I am so vain. The song 'You're so vain', was actually written about me.
What it is: Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body.
Why you do it: Oh, please.
Your punishment in Hell will be: You'll be smothered in fire and brimstone. Not kisses.
Associated symbols & suchlike: Lust is linked with the cow and the color blue.
In a nutshell, I'm like a bitch on heat.
What it is: Covetousness is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Greed.
Why you do it: You live in possibly the most pampered, consumerist society since the Roman Empire.
Your punishment in Hell will be: You'll be boiled alive in oil. Bear in mind that it's the finest, most luxurious boiling oil that money can buy, but it's still boiling.
Associated symbols & suchlike: Covetousness is linked with the frog and the color yellow.
Prada, Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Burberry, Christian Dior......The list goes on.
I also took an online test and I think the results speak for themselves. Lust is obviously my downfall. And funnily enough, when I took the test again 'for the person I'd like to be in five years time', the outcome didn't vary too much. Especially, in the lust department. Do the test and let me know the outcome. See you hell, bitches!
Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz
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